


she is babbling

by belindarimbi13



Series: this shell has stories to tell [25]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21536752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belindarimbi13/pseuds/belindarimbi13
Summary: a sequel ofshe is incoherentthat nobody asks for.
Series: this shell has stories to tell [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/739845
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	she is babbling

> I keep convincing myself that perhaps I don't want to die. But then I would feel hollow. I would be like a stuttering child, confused: "b-but w-why you h-have to take s-something that s-should be my i-identity?" as if this metaphorical ID card was stolen and now people could pretend to be me and nobody would recognize me anymore.
> 
>   
> They say being sad is the cheapest heroin you could ever get and nobody would arrest you for being suicidal. You stuff that knife in your pocket, a whole bottle of aspirin in your purse, and people would ask, "why can't you just be happy" the same way they wonder about why it has to be raining in July.
> 
>   
> I thought I'm an artist. Shuffling stack of papers, cluttering pens and spilled inks on my table. I paint my wrist with scarlet sky, rosy petal of sunset, and each time the brush touches my skin, it burns. Like fire. And it leaves marks. I'm a walking exhibition. The auditorium is right here. Come inside me, but don't forget to buy the ticket to enter. It's cheap. You give me tears and I'll give you sorrow—the best deal in the neighborhood.
> 
>   
> I keep convincing myself that perhaps I don't want to die. But then I would feel useless. I would feel like I'm a winning villain, standing tall upon the world in ruins: "why would you give me the victory that I pretend to desire?" as if living the mortal life is a level I should unlock in a game I don't want to play, named the law of universe.
> 
> Off the record: I don't understand any jack shit about law.

  
—b, 16/09/19, she is babbling.

**Author's Note:**

> a sequel of [she is incoherent](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20640410) that nobody asks for.


End file.
